http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 en-US 60 <p>What's wrong in ther?It's all in the attitude.</p> Sat, 24 May 2008 08:22:38 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8108762 Alucard101 http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>To TS,</p> <p>Just get ready your <span class="">SOP</span> lar.</p> <p>1) If you husband really have sex if another gal, what will you do?</p> <p>a) divorce ?<br /> b) kill him?<br /> c) forgive him if he is sorry?</p> <p>Sick and tired of hearing repeat stories of wives worried about their husband got another girl or not and in the end when the husband are caught in bed, the wives will still forgive them for straying.</p> <p>Why do you even have to think so much when you already decided to forgive him when he say sorry because of your daughter?</p> Sat, 24 May 2008 00:33:58 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8108518 Guardx http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by Jezmeister:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>I forgot... when one guy fucks up the every man in the world is to blame.</p> <p>I haven't&nbsp;said&nbsp;he's not done&nbsp;anything&nbsp;wrong have I? I just think&nbsp;you guys are&nbsp;being just&nbsp;a little irresponsible yelling&nbsp;divorce on the little information&nbsp;we&nbsp;have.</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Listen to my hubby..my hubby is always right.</p> Fri, 23 May 2008 21:18:36 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8108143 kikq http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by jojobeach:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>Uh hmm.. uh hummmmm.</p> <p>Wanna check out these links ?</p> <p>Carrie Underwood's .....</p> <p><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=vSG4Cml7HXs" rel= "nofollow">http://youtube.com/watch?v=vSG4Cml7HXs</a></p> <p><a href= "http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zok3tTtqkoI&amp;amp;amp;feature=user" rel= "nofollow">http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zok3tTtqkoI&amp;feature=user</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>I forgot... when one guy fucks up the every man in the world is to blame.</p> <p>I haven't&nbsp;said&nbsp;he's not done&nbsp;anything&nbsp;wrong have I? I just think&nbsp;you guys are&nbsp;being just&nbsp;a little irresponsible yelling&nbsp;divorce on the little information&nbsp;we&nbsp;have.</p> Fri, 23 May 2008 17:29:24 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8107783 Jezmeister http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>"<em>I Miss You</em>" these 3 words indeed&nbsp;might not b deemed as being flirtatious..But, "<em>I Miss You..Shall we meet at some dark corner?</em>" might mean something else oready.</p> <p>After being caught with such evidence, who in tat circumstance wll admit "<em>Yes, there is somethin goin on betwn us &amp;&nbsp;yes,&nbsp;im flirting behind ur back</em>." ??&nbsp; Well, unless he wants a&nbsp;divorce.&nbsp;</p> <p>1) Unfaithful in the straying of heart, perhaps.&nbsp; U decide urself.</p> <blockquote> <p><span style="color: #000080;">*unfaithful*:</span></p> <p>Adjective</p> <p>1. Not adhering to promises, obligations, or allegiances; disloyal.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;2. a. Not true or constant to one's sexual partner. b. Not true to one's spouse; guilty of adultery.</p> <p>3. Not justly representing or reflecting the original; inaccurate.</p> </blockquote> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>2) Physically, he might "not hav done anything' - yet.&nbsp; But who knows?</p> <p>3) It is up to individual to interprete.&nbsp; Women's instinct is the best.</p> Fri, 23 May 2008 14:02:05 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8107265 RedizAlertz http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>A joke??? U must be joking?? what to do?? sometime we gals have to ask ourselves, aren't we killing our own gender by snatching and loving or playing with married men?? If that gal know that he is married, why she still go with him???</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I mean we can blame it on men lustfullness and unfaithfulness, but i choose to blame we gals ourselves&nbsp;for going after or being together with a married man. Aren't we hurting our own sisterhood??</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>There are many virgin, young, handsome&nbsp;and single guys in sg, why go for married old uncles??? scratch my head???</p> Fri, 23 May 2008 11:04:25 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8106812 angel7030 http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by Jezmeister:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>Woah there fellas, what's with the runaway train? I may sound a little naive in this world where apparently pessimism is equal to realism but are we not going a little far with no information? No context?</p> <p>the literal words 'i miss you' are nothing... I miss my mates back home and some of them are girls, does that mean I miss them the same as I miss my fiancee and she should be worried? hell no, but i still miss them... not even remotely in the same league as how i miss my fiancee&nbsp;when she's&nbsp;away but the words are the same.</p> <p>I get the feeling&nbsp;you might have added the&nbsp;dark corner bit... all the same Kris&nbsp;would probably know I was missing&nbsp;someone long&nbsp;before even i did... maybe if he's hiding it from&nbsp;you&nbsp;you have a right&nbsp;to be&nbsp;a bit upset but unless you have reason to be suspicious above that and he's always been good and faithful to you in the past it'd be foolish to assume anything just from that - especially as he knows you can get sensitive about that stuff. It <em>is</em> possible to be just friends with a member of the opposite sex... I really think talking about divorce from this&nbsp;with no more context or info is going just a little bit overboard guys... the more you push something the more it tends to become true... what happened to benefit of the doubt and innocent until proven guilty? surely they extend to someone you love and trust enough to marry in the first place? if it turns out his intentions are bad, sure, skin him alive, but don't declare war over a few pipes that <em>could</em> be used in nuclear weapons... we all know how it ends - everyone gets hurt and noone wins.</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Uh hmm.. uh hummmmm.</p> <p>Wanna check out these links ?</p> <p>Carrie Underwood's .....</p> <p><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=vSG4Cml7HXs" rel= "nofollow">http://youtube.com/watch?v=vSG4Cml7HXs</a></p> <p><a href= "http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zok3tTtqkoI&amp;amp;feature=user" rel= "nofollow">http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zok3tTtqkoI&amp;feature=user</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> Fri, 23 May 2008 09:19:58 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8106584 jojobeach http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>my take on this,</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>i think&nbsp;married guy should know how to behave and not going around tease here tease there or joke here joke there</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>would u want to consider telling ur hubby that this kind of behaviour is just not accpetable and it make u upset</p> Fri, 23 May 2008 09:06:13 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8106573 BotaHead http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>Woah there fellas, what's with the runaway train? I may sound a little naive in this world where apparently pessimism is equal to realism but are we not going a little far with no information? No context?</p> <p>the literal words 'i miss you' are nothing... I miss my mates back home and some of them are girls, does that mean I miss them the same as I miss my fiancee and she should be worried? hell no, but i still miss them... not even remotely in the same league as how i miss my fiancee&nbsp;when she's&nbsp;away but the words are the same.</p> <p>I get the feeling&nbsp;you might have added the&nbsp;dark corner bit... all the same Kris&nbsp;would probably know I was missing&nbsp;someone long&nbsp;before even i did... maybe if he's hiding it from&nbsp;you&nbsp;you have a right&nbsp;to be&nbsp;a bit upset but unless you have reason to be suspicious above that and he's always been good and faithful to you in the past it'd be foolish to assume anything just from that - especially as he knows you can get sensitive about that stuff. It <i>is</i> possible to be just friends with a member of the opposite sex... I really think talking about divorce from this&nbsp;with no more context or info is going just a little bit overboard guys... the more you push something the more it tends to become true... what happened to benefit of the doubt and innocent until proven guilty? surely they extend to someone you love and trust enough to marry in the first place? if it turns out his intentions are bad, sure, skin him alive, but don't declare war over a few pipes that <i>could</i> be used in nuclear weapons... we all know how it ends - everyone gets hurt and noone wins.</p> Thu, 22 May 2008 23:39:37 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8106180 Jezmeister http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by Upset gal:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>Scenario :</p> <p>Married guy to&nbsp;girl colleague&nbsp;- Miss you, shall we meet in some dark corner?</p> <p>Questions :</p> <p>1. Is this considered unfaithful to married guy's partner?</p> <p>2. What if married guy "has not done anything"?</p> <p>3. Can a 3rd party reading this take it to mean as a tease?</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img src="/images/emoticons/classic/icon_arrow.gif" alt= "icon_arrow.gif" /> <span style="font-size: 10pt;">Where does the fault starts? From reasoning or behaviour?</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Can we safely say that one is guilty of 'sinning in love', even if infidelity does not manifest into behaviour?</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">I am not commenting the above idea along with the logic of 'One must see fire before one understands the destruction of a conflagration' - but rather, if a fire is sure to occur, there's little you can do to stop it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">In simple: you might be interested to know what's going on between your man and his colleague, but I think prior to that, it's equally important to understand where did the inflection first begin that led him astray potentially. Evolutionary Psychologist would have claim that monogamy is against the instinct of man and it's part of the Natural Selection to spread his seeds - but that's only if human are without cognition and a spiritual soul, as the latter is extremely crucial in our development in Love.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">I think we all must come to an understanding that we cannot stop people from leaving or becoming unfaithful if that is what someone desired. Love and marriage is bounded by freewill - even transcendental beings are powerless to meddle against the freewill in Love. Therefore, if this very freewill is geared towards committing transgression, unless components of the source is evolved, if not the consequences are often dire.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Because I do not know your man, neither does your relationship - it's almost impossible to make accurate assessment as you ain't clear yourself. Knowing this, I say, take some ample time to understand your entire issue first. Avoid jumping into conclusion, thinking that your man is promiscuous. There might be suggestions, but there are many dimensions to unfaithfulness and some of these might not be intrinsically motivated (which means that a marriage is still potentially salvageable, for as long as certain components of the push factors is resolved).</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">P.S: Before I end my post, I just like to say: please do not dismiss divorce from your option totally. I am not encouraging you to consider this ultimatum, but rather, you still must allow yourself this option IF development of your situation becomes irrevocably putrid. Nobody should suffer abuse, neglect or helplessness over a vast period of time, without any viable mode to change their circumstances.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">You don't have to use it, but you must be able to find it when you need it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">This is what I am advocating.</span> <img src= "/images/emoticons/classic/icon_idea.gif" alt= "icon_idea.gif" /></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Cheers</span></p> Thu, 22 May 2008 23:02:55 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8106082 Yunhaier http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>gal, 加油 ok? dun be sad =(</p> Thu, 22 May 2008 22:12:30 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8105969 kakashi83 http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by Upset gal:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>Scenario :</p> <p>Married guy to&nbsp;girl colleague&nbsp;- Miss you, shall we meet in some dark corner?</p> <p>Questions :</p> <p>1. Is this considered unfaithful to married guy's partner?</p> <p>2. What if married guy "has not done anything"?</p> <p>3. Can a 3rd party reading this take it to mean as a tease?</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><br /> 1.No, his actions are not clear</p> <p>2.Then alright lor...</p> <p>3.It seems a bit misleading.</p> Thu, 22 May 2008 20:44:59 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8105733 Q.C.Pak http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>very nonsense.</p> <p>has the government succeeded in creating mindless zombies?</p> Thu, 22 May 2008 20:44:48 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8105732 kopiosatu http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>Oops! Just realize you are not the intended 3rd party. Solly.</p> <p>Anyway if your hubby said that to a girl then you should do the following :-</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>1) Confront him!</p> <p>2) Don't take action outright. Collect all evidence then confront him</p> <p>3) If all evidence confirmed he is getting fresh with other women, castrate him!<img src= "/images/emoticons/classic/icon_twisted.gif" alt= "icon_twisted.gif" /></p> Thu, 22 May 2008 20:43:42 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8105725 BeautifulBetty http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by Upset gal:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>What does it mean to be faithful? Is it just "not having done anything"? What is acceptable in society in this present world?</p> <p>If I married guy tells a girl that he misses her and proposes to meet in some dark corner, is this acceptable? even if it is supposed to be a joke?</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><br /> How old are you ah? Either you are very innocent or downright dumb! But I think you belong to the latter category.</p> <p>Married men said miss you??? You don't even have to ask stupid question here. You should have done the following already :-</p> <p>1) Shout at him in the face in front of everyone and said 'Bu yau lian! Married still trying to chase other girls.</p> <p>2) Telephone the wife and tell her the husband is in the seven year itch phase! Then sit back and watch the fun</p> <p>3) At most you run far far away from him not come here ask stupid question like this UNLESS YOU also itchy 'hiao' because you interested in him too!<img src= "/images/emoticons/classic/icon_evil.gif" alt= "icon_evil.gif" /></p> Thu, 22 May 2008 20:38:21 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8105711 BeautifulBetty http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by Upset gal:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>Scenario :</p> <p>Married guy to&nbsp;girl colleague&nbsp;- Miss you, shall we meet in some dark corner?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>3. Can a 3rd party reading this take it to mean as a tease?</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Maybe I'm uptight, but this isn't funny leh</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 15:29:21 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8102248 choco B http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>Thank you all for your advice. Now for me to get my head cleared.......</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 14:56:38 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8102157 Upset gal http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>being faithful for 15 yrs doesn't mean he'll cont'd to be for the next 15 yrs...</p> <p>tis is not just a tease and much less a joke... thr's nothing funny abt asking a gal to go to a dark corner... think wat? testing torchlight or something?</p> <p>stay calm and have a good talk with him. even if u dun talk abt the sms, talk abt ur insecurity... tat would be a hint to him tat u r not totally ignorant... save ur marriage b4 it's too late...</p> <p>as i said, know ur baseline...</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 14:00:19 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8102000 tare http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>Hi Upset Girl,</p> <p>I guess guys just love the hunt and perhaps your husband is one of those guys who just want to <em>ji siao</em> girls but nothing serious would come out of it. I'm attached but I also make fun of my colleagues and friends because we are comfortable with one another. Our jokes don't go beyond "missing" each other and "thinking" of each other. But, at the end of the day, it's just fun and games - harmless banter - we don't engage in anything physical or sexual; only joking. No mention of hotels, dark corners or any such conotations.</p> <p>From my own standpoint, if the joke gets out of hand, I would probably apologise to the girl and tell her that our jokes got out of hand and draw the line.</p> <p>Do you notice any difference in your husband's behaviour of late? Maybe it's just his way of trying to "de-stress"? Maybe you should just observe him for a while and have a good talk with him. I believe that communications is very important in every relationship. Sometimes, even the slightest misunderstanding can result in something catastrophic.</p> <p>Good luck and God Bless!</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 14:00:15 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8101999 Tulanming http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>Hire a P.I to ascertain your worries. It doesn't portray the trust you should have in him but then again, why fake that you do when you did see something incriminating? Ask him nicely first. I know its hard but you need to be prepared for anything.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>But then again, sometimes it does take something external for him to realize his marriage is a wonderful one. Unfortunately some people do learn the hard way. Religion plays a part but there's only so much God can do for you, and if you're familiar God gives us choices, so it really is up to your husband, &nbsp;but a bad choice comes with a nagging conscience. I suggest you seek the help of a counsellor privately to keep your mind straight for the time being. Never bring religion into your confrontation or discussions because as long as something isn't tangible it won't gnaw as much into one's conscience especially if it turns out to be true, your husband would be too&nbsp;consumed in his own world and the last thing he bothers about is religion, which is obvious enough.</p> <p>Take care of yourself, Upset. I know its hard but&nbsp;I need to tell you though, that jealousy doesn't manifest&nbsp;love, it just shows insecurity. But its not your fault that you care, after all you are married.&nbsp;Stay strong, sweetie. &nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 13:54:47 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8101982 Noughticated http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by Upset gal:</div> <div class="quote_body"> <p>I dunno....somewhere in China I assume. Does it matter?</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>dark corner = somewhere in China ?!?!?!?! ......</p> <p>would you like to know a good lawyer ? ...</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 13:51:09 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8101973 Fatum http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>I dunno....somewhere in China I assume. Does it matter?</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 13:41:22 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8101958 Upset gal http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>I didnt mean to say about the religions. just want to remind you that being religious does not mean a near flawless person.</p> <p>i am not telling you to speak about the d word, of course. you may want to confide to your close ones, they may give you the support and good advice.</p> <p>hope everything will be fine for you soon.</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 13:40:18 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8101956 jacqn http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>where the dark corner?<br /> pls be specific.</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 13:39:17 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8101954 FireIce http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224 <p>Sorry, I did not intend to bring religon into this...the comment was meant as yet another reminder to us to be faithful... i realise that not everything said in church ensures 100% devotion or perfection neither I am using it to judge.</p> <p>We have been married 15 years and as far as I know, he had a clean past before we got married. The other time&nbsp;I felt really hurt was some thing less than this, but I thought it was enough of an indication of how sensitive (or maybe jealous) I person I am. Similar to both occassions, I cried my heart out and we both just could not get a level headed conversation going.</p> <p>In certain aspects, I am too narrow minded.... I have vowed that I will not utter the word "d------", I know my daughter gets hurt in the middle and I can't bring myself to speak in an open&nbsp;manner with family and friends.</p> <p>Having said all these.....again, maybe I am too oversensitive and he truely means no harm at all. I guess from his standpoint, he has said repeatedly that he loves our daugther and me only and would not have excused himself from a business dinner last night if he was not flustered about it.</p> <p>So confused! I hope I will be able to straighten out my thinking soon.....</p> Wed, 21 May 2008 13:15:36 +0800 where.sgforums.com:12:318224:8101928 Upset gal http://where.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/318224